You hear it. Maybe you scoff. I usually do. But I encourage you to pause and ponder it with more patience.
I, like everyone, make a mistake of looking back and carrying a load that isn't there anymore or looking forward to carry a load that will never be. While I'm weighed down by this imaginary burden my mind is elsewhere in a place incapable of thankfulness for where I actually am. It’s a mistake I make less and less as I grow. But it’s human. It’s common. And it’s a big problem.
Whatever's done is done. Whatever will be will be. And I am thankful for that, for the loving souls in my life, for all the dear people who fight to create beauty in the world, and for the simple but enriching moments where I catch a laugh or a smile from my gorgeous little children.
In my coaching, this is probably the most fundamental roadblock. We can address biomechanics. We can implement certain healthy behaviors. But we can’t time travel. And everything I do with clients IS happening in the NOW. So, if they pathologically transport themselves to the worried future or guilted past, none of the PRESENT rectifies their errant thinking.
Especially this time of year, people look back over their failed resolutions and shame themselves for a “wasted” eleven months. Perhaps more this year than any year, we are inclined to lament what the pandemic “stole” from us. But that’s not very PRESENT, is it? Are you going to go back in time? Are you going to magically control space and time and make it so that 5-15% of these novel viral cases don’t need hospitalization?
I find it’s best to ask oneself what is currently productive? Literally, what can you do this second that PRODUCES a beneficial outcome? Basically, everything else can be thrown out.
Now, think it through. Every productive “now” gifts you a slightly better tomorrow. Things add up.