Former Navy Seal officer, Jocko Willink, makes a very succinct assessment of our misleading emotions: https://www.instagram.com/tv/B7JLR1OF-Ou/…
Essentially, most of the time we get upset it is our ego reacting to an inarticulate person. “Take a step back,” he says. And try to understand what they’re trying to say, if even they’re doing a terrible job at it.
This is definitely a quick and poignant piece of wisdom, since the vast majority of what I observe people doing is skipping right over each step of this effort. That is, I don’t even know if people reflect on why they get upset, let alone have the clarity to check their egos and take a step back. It seems like most people’s reactions to news and disagreements is a jump AHEAD to assume the worst in that story or in that other person. Rather than say, “hmm, my ego is getting infuriated - maybe I need to check myself and/or allow that person to thoroughly explain where I’m unclear,” there is definitely a popular effort to summarize your opponent in the most demeaning way, and invent a dystopian future based on your summary.
And likewise, hear me: I’m not saying you’re wrong to do that every time. You may be absolutely accurate. But is it profitable for your enjoyment of life and productive for influencing your opposition? Your mental health is at stake. The capacity to corral opponents is at stake.
Seeking first to misunderstand may be quick and seem tidy. But, if we understand, life can be grand.