Non-Present sentiments Don't Really Help

"I used to be..."
"I wish I were..."
"If only..."

There's this human sentiment of rejecting current opportunity with an obsession over where we wish we were beginning.

You're not going to play Chopin before you practiced your scales. You aren't going to perform surgery before understanding anatomy. You aren't going to magically transport to the past.
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Accept, love and enjoy right where you are. Work with that. It's good enough to change your world, and, perhaps, the world.