I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE YOU

Unless you want to change you, and only in the way you desire to change. I’ve seen these contrived moments on weight loss shows where the “trainer” is essentially guilting the person for being who they are. That’s crazy.

The absolute last thing on earth I want is more meatheads and gym rats. Be a techie. Be a Trekkie. Be a poet. Be a musician. Be whoever you are. Love food. Have a drink. Don’t be a fitness fanatic. Don’t care if anyone else wants you to either. Just do what you do.

That said, there is a way to INTEGRATE healthier living into the awesome person you already are. We don’t need to revise you from someone who enjoys pizza into a person who can’t ever let a single simple sugar touch her lips. That’s nonsense.

I want every fitness industry outsider to understand this and please share. I know the people in this industry. Any of them who have a unidimensional message aren’t worthy of your ear or attention. The world is better with the variegated tapestry that is mankind. The more homogeneity people preach in an approach, (ANY approach, not just fitness), the less joy there is, the less creativity, the less breakthrough.

I hear the implied lack of ownership in the way people talk about their efforts:
“I’m probably working out wrong.”
“I eat bad stuff.”

It’s like they see that there is a sphere of “right” and a sphere of “wrong.” One group of people sits neatly within one sphere and one group of people sits neatly in the other. No. Everybody is just tripping their way through life, with varying tactics.

If you want to become more effective at a given endeavor, sure, change the way you think about certain things. Reprioritize. And yes, in some cases, where the vast majority of daily decisions are self-sabotaging, you may want to change a good deal of who you are. If YOU want that, I want that. If you don’t, I don’t.

We can even get into the philosophy of how there is no “you.” The you of 5 minutes ago doesn’t exist. The you of now won’t exist in 5 minutes. Physically, the you of 7-10 years ago doesn’t exist. All the cells, save for some cardiac, neural and optic tissue, has been totally replaced. The same will happen again in 7-10. When you have a new thought, you create new pathways in the brain, even as an older adult. What is the self? It’s not a fixed product. It’s a process.

But whatever “you” is - the wonderful, beautiful aspects of self - let’s have more of that, not less. The unique idiosyncrasies and quirks and interests and thoughts and arts - let us keep all of that.
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I don’t want to change you.