What I had to learn in order to effectively coach was extreme empathy, especially in the face of adversarial attacks. That is, to really communicate with people, you must listen with intentional compassion past the front they've contrived. People say a lot of words; but there's so much pain and hurt behind those words if you listen more deeply.
At the most superficial level, we see people inimical, indignant, angry, passive-aggressive or downright aggressive. And sometimes they aim it outward at other people, namely the very people trying to help them.
Really, people are broken. They need mercy. They are carrying pain and trauma from long ago or recently; and their attempts at aggression are frustration at themselves and others where they've been ineffective or unrealistic: https://www.npr.org/…/if-youre-often-angry-or-irritable-you…
I used to take people's emotional immaturity personally. It was a heavy burden to carry. I now understand that the angriest and most irritated people are just as-of-yet unwilling to face themselves honestly. And that's most people most of the time.
Don't debate. Don't argue. Show compassion. Show mercy. You were once there too and likely will be from time to time again, lashing out needlessly at all the wrong people. The world doesn't need one more combative face-off. But it sure could use some more listening.
At the most superficial level, we see people inimical, indignant, angry, passive-aggressive or downright aggressive. And sometimes they aim it outward at other people, namely the very people trying to help them.
Really, people are broken. They need mercy. They are carrying pain and trauma from long ago or recently; and their attempts at aggression are frustration at themselves and others where they've been ineffective or unrealistic: https://www.npr.org/…/if-youre-often-angry-or-irritable-you…
I used to take people's emotional immaturity personally. It was a heavy burden to carry. I now understand that the angriest and most irritated people are just as-of-yet unwilling to face themselves honestly. And that's most people most of the time.
Don't debate. Don't argue. Show compassion. Show mercy. You were once there too and likely will be from time to time again, lashing out needlessly at all the wrong people. The world doesn't need one more combative face-off. But it sure could use some more listening.